Managing your Mind

I’ve noticed that people with mental illness see the world from exclusively their own perspective.  Not a thought about how their needs, decisions, actions affect others.

Their families have a great burden dealing with the disruption to their lives, and not a shred of thought or glimmer of awareness goes toward this.  The spouses must shoulder the burden of trying to provide a stable environment for their families, and the children can be scarred for life by the unstable parent.  Even siblings can be traumatized as well as friends and other family, work associates, etc.

The successful adult navigates life by working with people, and crafting a win-win for themselves and others.  A good salesman always sells what you want, not what he wants.  

Many people fall into the pattern of self-absorption and forget that other people share this earth.  When you think of them and look out for others, you become someone who works with people.  Maybe we’re not being as extreme in our selfishness as those with mental illness, but we can all improve in this respect.

Those in treatment would do well to focus outside themselves as well.  It may be the first step in healing to recognize the world outside and the people in it.

It is not good for man to be alone, not even in his mind.

Mary

 I see her now.  She was 13, my little cousin.  Come to visit us from Florida.  She was sweet, reserved.  I wanted to spend time together, but her older sister said no, she was not interested.  So we older girls went off together to explore the trails and hills near my mother’s home.  

I would see them every summer when they came to visit and it took many years before I understood she did not get along with her older sister.  That is why we missed out on that time we could have spent together.

Many years later I came to visit them in Florida, and I met her husband and little girl.  She met my son and husband.  Over the years we slowly built that bond we should have had earlier.  

She was bright, kind and the glue that held our family together.    When she got sick, I took another trip to see her and she told me she would fight to live.

I believed her and together my friends, my family and I prayed for a miracle.  We did not get one.  We already had one.  

She has passed and will join her mom and dad in heaven.

Looking back over the years, I realize again what I missed.  Life is never long enough.

Mary was beloved by all, and in the end even by her older sister.  You can’t replace someone like her.  You just have to keep her in your heart and carry her with you.

Until we meet again cuz…

The Spirit of Joy

 Sometimes our problems in life are overcome when we begin to notice what we have, rather than seeing what we want.  Sometimes the things we have are what we need.  It is human nature to want more.  And so whatever we attain, it is never enough.  Look around you, notice what you have.  All things in this world are temporal.  They are here for you to enjoy, now.  

The spirit of joy beckons the nature of abundance, just as the nature of want manifests lack.  Look around you, and appreciate the beauty.

One day, your soul may manifest the desire of your heart.  Lock it in your mind, as that which you love and treasure.  Make it yours in spirit.  So it will come to you.

Queen Me

In the game of life, sometimes a player is removed before their time.  In chess, perhaps a pawn is sacrificed to gain position on the board.  Perhaps a bishop or knight is taken by the opposition.  This can be an unseen loss or a willing trade-off as players swap pieces.

The Queen is the most powerful piece on the board and its loss is a serious blow to a player’s winning chances.  However, a lowly pawn can make its way to the other side of the board and become a Queen.

As you play the game, sometimes you sacrifice one of your pieces, your mind, your body, your security, sometimes it can be your social network, your home, friends or job.  There are losses and gains.  If you gain better position in one area, you may have lost power in another.

But play the game wisely, and maybe, just maybe, you get a chance to be a Queen.  Not just any piece or player on the board of life, but a valued, powerful and protected piece.

The key is to know its a game, and the stakes are high.

Guard your pieces.

Crazy

I’m crazy now.  

I said that at 20 after someone had been gaslighting me, and drove me toward more than one breakdown.

It was all a huge misunderstanding. But the damage was done.  I healed, blocking the whole incident out and thinking myself normal for most of my life.

I’ve had troubles and worked through them, but every time I was about to break, some inner part of my mind rescued me.  It refuses to let me fail.

Now I am watching people around me break. The pressure’s too much. They’ve tried to kill themselves because the isolation is too much.  They’ve snapped and are hearing voices.  They’ve lost their minds.

So did I.  And my mind came back.

I didn’t trust it anymore so I forgot it happened.  Do anything you have to, but heal.

By the end of this year we will be back together.  And I will be the crazy one.  I’m used to it. 😊

Chaos

Like the shadow of our subconscious, chaos lurks in the little space between Order and disorder.  This is why a hundred year forest can be destroyed in a week when set ablaze.  Centuries of culture are ruined by one evil act, of man or nature. 

We have seen this, hundred year floods, pandemic, terrorists destroying lives and cities.  The planet and mankind are determined to wash away or burn all we have built.

As we stand bereft of our loved ones, our civility, our sanity, know that chaos though fleeting is part of the pattern of life.  The immediate destruction, the evil doing, the tragedy, wipes out and erases our trajectory.

Much beauty, eloquence has been lost to it.  But as each generation withers and dies, it brings forward fresh youth to carry on civilization.  Einstein is lost to us, but the light of his science has been both a blessing and curse to mankind.  Jesus could not remain with us.  But we still have life.

We have seen better days.  We can rebuild an even better future.  

An Imperfect World

Everything’s fine. You’re feeling good even upbeat.

And then you start feeling a stiff neck.  The next day your shoulders are tense.  You woke up from a bad dream and you’re wondering why would you even think about that.

You were hurting someone in the dream and they weren’t even complaining, they were cooperating.

But the world is a very bad place. Even when good things are going on, there is always something bad about it. No matter how noble the intention it can and will be corrupted.

Take the purity of the message of Jesus Christ, then look at the evil that has been done in the name of Christianity.  Surely Jesus knew this would happen, and in fact it is mentioned in the Bible that he knew this would happen.

So why did he come here to live, to teach?

Well I would be lost right now trying to make sense of all this.  Why do people try to kill themselves? When depression hits, we don’t see the world the same way. We want to end the pain. We think others really don’t care if we’re gone.

You may ask yourself why I know this. I’ve been there.

I have a friend, really, who just tried it. Now he’s spending months in rehab for physical injuries.  I feel very bad because I didn’t realize he needed help.

If you read any history, you know human history is full of wars, torture, death and pain.  Then we have religion which often seeks to uplift but often causes more wars, torture, death and pain.

Every few hundred years the planet tried to thrust off its infestation.  We’ve been at war with planet earth for centuries, and we’ve polluted her.  One of the filthiest places on earth is India, and oddly it is also one of the most religiously reverent places.  Why does religious faith equate with doing nothing for oneself?

We are here to make choices. Only then will we have the opportunity to make the right choice. So we continue making choices, or choosing not to choose. Refusing to take action is a choice. Sometimes doing nothing accomplishes everything.  If everything is perfect we’re on the right track sure leave it alone.

But when you wake up and the world looks bleak and you’re guilty about something you would never do, then it’s time to take a look at your choices.  Maybe the world was once on track, but now it isn’t.

You made choices that seemed right at the time, just like my friend.  I told him to call me if he ever feels this bad again and I will talk to him. I promised.  When you’re all alone it’s easy to get depressed. COVID-19 has left some of us alone, and even the strongest mind will have a difficult time with that. It is not good for man to be alone.