A Woman’s Identity

My last name was ripped from me when my mother remarried and I was adopted.  I then changed it, twice when I married and remarried.  Mom also gave me a hated nickname, and so unwittingly took my entire identity away by the time I was 4.  I had to fight with my entire family to get them to acknowledge my name is Catherine.

My son has my husband’s last name, as my last name no longer means anything to me.  I do get annoyed when utility and tax offices put my husband’s name on the accounts and invoices, as if I were not the one paying the bills and handling all correspondence.  

The insurance company also sends me emails “hi Andrew” 😡😡😡. I’ve asked repeatedly for them to acknowledge me by my name.  Down South, they just don’t get that.

We live in a patriarchal society.  So much sensitivity is given to a man’s need for identity, and very little thought about a woman’s identity.  I assume that is because it was originally thought that a woman identifies with her husband, rather than as a person in her own right.

This is not a feminist rant.  Just sharing how it feels to be marginalized and, frankly, disrespected.  I had a long career, was a Senior Manager of a 17 person team of pension analysts, and was the primary breadwinner in the family.  This despite the fact my backwards mom absolutely refused to let me go to college.  I don’t let anyone stop me from being what I want to be.  It’s time the world viewed women as a source of intellectual power and capability and treated them accordingly.

Thank you for sharing your time with me.

Tales from the Mental ward

Years ago, I went with my ex, a good-looking 6’2 guy, to visit my aunt who was retarded and had been put in the mental ward for being disruptive. We sat in a large room full of beds and chatted with my aunt, who was a large hefty woman. 

I began to notice a young black woman pacing back and forth nearby. She was shapely and had long corn rows in her hair. After a while, the young black woman approached me handing me a black jelly bean and muttering something unintelligible. Not wanting to be rude or offensive, I accepted the jelly bean and put it on the nightstand. 

She then pounced on my husband, thrusting him backwards on the bed where he was sitting and began passionately kissing him! I ran to get help but before they could arrive, my aunt pulled the young woman off him and said ‘That’s wrong!’ 

Mind you, I have no I doubt my ex could have handled the situation himself, but chose not to. The interns took her away and I returned the jelly bean to the young girl’s nightstand, since as far as I could understand what had happened, the sale was not made. It would have been a good deal too.

Key to the Game

Even the games you win have to end.  Many times do you think you’re losing? It all depends on whether you’re playing for entertainment or survival.

Get it to the point where you’re just playing with five or 10% of your chips, then you make it a game.

One day you have to cash in your chips.  Then you move to another table.

The Key is to never let the game get too big for you to lose.  Never bet more than you can afford to lose.  Never bet your soul.

When you see it as a game, you stand apart from it.  You are conscious of your choices.  You are in control, not the game.

When the game ends, win or lose, you must move on.  Losers must play until they learn how to be a winner.  Winners get a new game.

It lasts as long as time itself.  Time is the final game.

How to pass from Infinity to Eternity?

A New Years Prayer

 I belong to a private group and it is our custom to pray together for the new year.  This year I am sharing some of that, my New Years Prayer for 2022, with you.

Happy New Year!  I am grateful we each made it to 2022, and I hope life is going well for each of you my friends.  Last year we lost my father in law, who was 100.  It is especially sad we could not see him on his 100th birthday, due to Covid precautions.  We also lost my 56 year old cousin, who was a mom and a grandma.  I thank you again for joining me to pray for her.  I once read that certain people/religions pray each day for the sun to rise and the grass to grow, for the world to do what we expect it to do.  They believe in prayer as an acknowledgment to God that He causes these things to happen, and their prayer is as much a spoken word of gratitude as it is a request.  This year, I want to acknowledge and thank God for the life, the joy, the love and countless blessings we have with each new day.  All the people in our lives, our pets, our homes, our world all we have because God has given us and this planet Life.  May the Life and the Joy be with you and your families, and May it embrace our world in this new year.  Giving thanks to God.  Amen.

The Truth of Jesus

Nothing but Truth lasts forever. Life is ever changing and full of beginnings and endings. This is what Jesus meant when he said ‘Heaven and earth shall pass away; my words will never pass away.’ He spoke Truth. The point is not a Bible lesson. You are here for a reason. Each ending is a beginning, because in truth life is endless. You are here in this world of temporary realities - relativity - to find Truth. Learn what lessons are real. Use your time wisely.

Presenting Time

We remember things.  But the memories are different because the mind sees what it will.  We want some thing we had.  But do we recall what it really was?

Time distorts and fades memory.  As for its practical impact, the distorted memory is what is real.  At least for the moment.

The mind engages reality in this and other manners, co-creating the universe.  Awareness changes reality.  

We dream of the future.  Sometimes we fear it.  This too affects reality.  Thoughts craft the world.  Let there be light.  And there was light!

Thus imagine if you will what the most powerful mind can do with thought.  Yet he will not interfere with your thoughts.  That is free will.  That is the Law of God.

Recognizing reality is actually relativity, helps one understand this pivot from mind to mind as perspective changes infinitely.

Not just in space but in time does relativity reign.  But time and space are all concepts, not constant and not real.  The mind has crafted all of it.

It is the greatest illusion of all time.  You cannot see past it, because past and future are all concepts.  Only now is here.  You are always here and it is always now.

Managing your Mind

I’ve noticed that people with mental illness see the world from exclusively their own perspective.  Not a thought about how their needs, decisions, actions affect others.

Their families have a great burden dealing with the disruption to their lives, and not a shred of thought or glimmer of awareness goes toward this.  The spouses must shoulder the burden of trying to provide a stable environment for their families, and the children can be scarred for life by the unstable parent.  Even siblings can be traumatized as well as friends and other family, work associates, etc.

The successful adult navigates life by working with people, and crafting a win-win for themselves and others.  A good salesman always sells what you want, not what he wants.  

Many people fall into the pattern of self-absorption and forget that other people share this earth.  When you think of them and look out for others, you become someone who works with people.  Maybe we’re not being as extreme in our selfishness as those with mental illness, but we can all improve in this respect.

Those in treatment would do well to focus outside themselves as well.  It may be the first step in healing to recognize the world outside and the people in it.

It is not good for man to be alone, not even in his mind.