Sunday, January 21, 2018

Dogs in Heaven

My mom has been gone a long while now.  We did not have an easy relationship.  The truth is her friends and family shunned her by the end.  She was harsh to people and sometimes vicious.  If she felt wronged, she was unable to measure her response.  As I remember saying often, she went for the jugular.  That’s an idiom, kind of like going “nucular.”  The difference is she wasn’t losing her control, she was a cool killer.  Her enemy, son, daughter, friend, was in it emotionally, but she enjoyed every minute eviscerating her prey.  Eventually, people came to see they could not maintain a relationship, and she became emotionally isolated.

It’s is not good for man, or woman, to live alone.  She was placed in a lovely assisted living facility with special services for the mentally ill.  The Chelsea is a beautiful home for seniors, some with dementia, some with mental illness, and some who simply need help with daily living.  Over time, mom became isolated there as she felt abandoned by everyone.

Apparently I decided to visit her and my grandmother as well, so I got into my car and began driving.  The traffic was very difficult, I became very focused on the map in my mind and somehow arrived at the Chelsea.  I parked and got out but was very confused.  I asked people there am I in the right place? I don’t know how I got here.  This is the Chelsea? Is my mom here?  They said yes and pointed across the street.  Before she died she was placed in Care One nursing home, across the street.

But there was an event today at the Chelsea and so we walked onto the grounds and there I saw several dogs running and they went inside.  One pretty white dog stopped to say hi to me.  I petted her as we stood outside.  I felt as if I should not go in but the kind people waited with the door open for me.  It was clear I was welcome.

I went inside and there I watched these kind souls playing with the dogs.  I marveled at our dog, pretty Tootsie with her long white fur, all combed and trimmed.  She was so happy and hopping about on her hind legs begging for treats!  I smiled broadly.  I was enjoying this so much!

When I realized I was seeing Tootsie, my mom’s dog, I awoke.

I visit the other side often enough, but I was puzzled as to why I was brought to see my mom’s dog.

I remembered how she cared for that dog.  Tootsie was found abandoned in a parking lot.  She was sickly and scared.  My mom took her in, cleaned her up, nursed her back to health.  She had at one point 2 dogs and six cats.  She took excellent care of them all.  Tootsie had bad teeth and mom brushed them for her every day.

I remembered when my father became terminally ill, how mom cared for him at home.  I remembered how when mom’s neighbor, a woman she fought with daily, took a stroke, mom visited her every day in the hospital until she died.  Mom later became a volunteer at the hospital.

I remembered In the Light World, mom was a particularly incorrigible soul.  As far as I could see, she was hopeless, unredeemable.

They found a way, I realized.  Through the dogs, through caring for others, they found a way to reach her.  That’s why there are dogs in heaven.


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