Something Visceral

That gnawing feeling, something deep down, that you can’t shake.

You know something’s wrong.

Sometimes it’s a bad feeling, like an omen.  Don’t go out tonight... stay away from him... or maybe don’t loan him money.

Sometimes you have a strong aversion to a person, place or thing.  It’s so strong that you cannot fight it.  You move away.  You don’t know what you’re afraid of.  You don’t know what you’re missing.

Your subconscious knows.  It processes the information your conscious mind cannot or will not recognize.

Sometimes the only danger is to your mind.  But you need to face that fear, find out why it’s there.

Why are you dreading this place? Does it remind you of something, someone?

It’s never been wrong, and I’ve never given in to the dark warnings.

They are like alarm bells going off in my chest and in the pit of my stomach.

But the aversions, they are more subtle.  You simply don’t go there, don’t do that and never think about why.

Your mind is keeping a secret from you.  It’s playing God with your life.

You got hurt there and it won’t let you try again.

It’s sheltering, protecting you... deciding for you... just like mommy once did.

Just like a parent, it’s been decided for you:  you’re not allowed to play there, go there, see those people.

This is because you recoiled emotionally, and refuse to mentally acknowledge your experience.

After you grow up, you may classify that past experience differently.  By remembering the incident, you free up emotion.  Right now, the negative emotional energy from past hurts drains you, and you have less compassion for those around you.  You have regrets about your life and resentments about it’s direction.  You don’t know why you don’t make changes.

Something visceral is there, something you don’t understand, and that means you have unfinished business, uncharted courses, unfinished love.  Your desires were once thwarted.  You need to heal and get back to living.

Are you ready to try again?