A Woman’s Identity

My last name was ripped from me when my mother remarried and I was adopted.  I then changed it, twice when I married and remarried.  Mom also gave me a hated nickname, and so unwittingly took my entire identity away by the time I was 4.  I had to fight with my entire family to get them to acknowledge my name is Catherine.

My son has my husband’s last name, as my last name no longer means anything to me.  I do get annoyed when utility and tax offices put my husband’s name on the accounts and invoices, as if I were not the one paying the bills and handling all correspondence.  

The insurance company also sends me emails “hi Andrew” 😡😡😡. I’ve asked repeatedly for them to acknowledge me by my name.  Down South, they just don’t get that.

We live in a patriarchal society.  So much sensitivity is given to a man’s need for identity, and very little thought about a woman’s identity.  I assume that is because it was originally thought that a woman identifies with her husband, rather than as a person in her own right.

This is not a feminist rant.  Just sharing how it feels to be marginalized and, frankly, disrespected.  I had a long career, was a Senior Manager of a 17 person team of pension analysts, and was the primary breadwinner in the family.  This despite the fact my backwards mom absolutely refused to let me go to college.  I don’t let anyone stop me from being what I want to be.  It’s time the world viewed women as a source of intellectual power and capability and treated them accordingly.

Thank you for sharing your time with me.