Chaos

Like the shadow of our subconscious, chaos lurks in the little space between Order and disorder.  This is why a hundred year forest can be destroyed in a week when set ablaze.  Centuries of culture are ruined by one evil act, of man or nature. 

We have seen this, hundred year floods, pandemic, terrorists destroying lives and cities.  The planet and mankind are determined to wash away or burn all we have built.

As we stand bereft of our loved ones, our civility, our sanity, know that chaos though fleeting is part of the pattern of life.  The immediate destruction, the evil doing, the tragedy, wipes out and erases our trajectory.

Much beauty, eloquence has been lost to it.  But as each generation withers and dies, it brings forward fresh youth to carry on civilization.  Einstein is lost to us, but the light of his science has been both a blessing and curse to mankind.  Jesus could not remain with us.  But we still have life.

We have seen better days.  We can rebuild an even better future.  

An Imperfect World

Everything’s fine. You’re feeling good even upbeat.

And then you start feeling a stiff neck.  The next day your shoulders are tense.  You woke up from a bad dream and you’re wondering why would you even think about that.

You were hurting someone in the dream and they weren’t even complaining, they were cooperating.

But the world is a very bad place. Even when good things are going on, there is always something bad about it. No matter how noble the intention it can and will be corrupted.

Take the purity of the message of Jesus Christ, then look at the evil that has been done in the name of Christianity.  Surely Jesus knew this would happen, and in fact it is mentioned in the Bible that he knew this would happen.

So why did he come here to live, to teach?

Well I would be lost right now trying to make sense of all this.  Why do people try to kill themselves? When depression hits, we don’t see the world the same way. We want to end the pain. We think others really don’t care if we’re gone.

You may ask yourself why I know this. I’ve been there.

I have a friend, really, who just tried it. Now he’s spending months in rehab for physical injuries.  I feel very bad because I didn’t realize he needed help.

If you read any history, you know human history is full of wars, torture, death and pain.  Then we have religion which often seeks to uplift but often causes more wars, torture, death and pain.

Every few hundred years the planet tried to thrust off its infestation.  We’ve been at war with planet earth for centuries, and we’ve polluted her.  One of the filthiest places on earth is India, and oddly it is also one of the most religiously reverent places.  Why does religious faith equate with doing nothing for oneself?

We are here to make choices. Only then will we have the opportunity to make the right choice. So we continue making choices, or choosing not to choose. Refusing to take action is a choice. Sometimes doing nothing accomplishes everything.  If everything is perfect we’re on the right track sure leave it alone.

But when you wake up and the world looks bleak and you’re guilty about something you would never do, then it’s time to take a look at your choices.  Maybe the world was once on track, but now it isn’t.

You made choices that seemed right at the time, just like my friend.  I told him to call me if he ever feels this bad again and I will talk to him. I promised.  When you’re all alone it’s easy to get depressed. COVID-19 has left some of us alone, and even the strongest mind will have a difficult time with that. It is not good for man to be alone.

The Least of These

He was a career criminal.  Drug possession, home invasion, armed robbery, jail time.  He was 6’6, big, a frightening man who forced his way into a woman’s home where he and his accomplices robbed and beat her.

He did jail time, tried to change his life around, mentored others with bible study.  But he died with serious drugs in his system, and was arrested for committing a minor crime.

Surely he was not irredeemable.  But to the extent that any of us can say we are “good” he was the least of us.

Why did Christ say this:
Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.

Why did he equate himself with them?  Here’s who they are:

For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ 

Are we to raise up one another?  We are a brotherhood, and a chain of humanity.  Each link must pass through the gates of Heaven.

When one of us is weak, we are all no stronger than the least of us.  Every person has greatness in him.  Some of us don’t show that until their last moments, with their dying breath.

Martyrs are often despised by their neighbors.  

The least of us is reason for all of us to call on humanity to raise up our standards, calling for decency and justice in our government, our police, and our people.

Christ held himself to no lesser standard, and he asks that of you and me.  He holds himself equal to each brother.

As we mourn for a fallen brother, let us also cry for the loss of justice in our world.

Begone Demon Trump!

The protests began when he took office.

Cute women in pussycat hats descended upon Washington.  They were ignored, even ridiculed.

The black athletes tried to signal something was wrong, when they took a knee.

They were derided and scorned.

America has no stomach for protests.  The establishment only cares that it gets its way.

Their rhetoric has emboldened the racism, and it has become so overt that police feel free to kill black, white and elderly, anyone who opposes them.  Our President ordered peaceful demonstrators tear gassed and had them shot with rubber bullets so he could cross the street.

Oh America your Senate had a chance to rid us of this imbecile and their corruption showed when all but one Senator acquitted on charges that were self-evident from the day this jackal took office.

Your very last chance to restore freedom is to vote him out.  Let’s hope and let us pray that he leaves without starting a civil war.

Stockholm Syndrome

When you begin to sympathize with the enemy, vote against your own self- interests, this is an example of Stockholm Syndrome.

Have you begun to accept that things will never get better for you until the evil-doer gets his way?

Do you begin to think in terms of what will appease this person or group who have stolen your rights to self determination?

This is what happened to Patty Hearst when she was abducted, raped and held hostage in a closet by the Symbionese Liberation Army.  This is what happens to people when they are oppressed by dictators!

You learn to think their way, to survive.

This is what Joe Biden means when he says he represents a better choice than a vote for Trump.  We don’t have to be held hostage any longer by this corrupt Republican institution.  Think yourself free and vote the GOP out.

Google: The name of the syndrome is derived from a botched bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden. In August 1973 four employees of Sveriges Kreditbank were held hostage in the bank's vault for six days. During the standoff, a seemingly incongruous bond developed between captive and captor.

The Job

Years ago I took a job as a secretary, replacing two very sloppy people.  I organized the office, and my bosses - I had 5 of them, were upset when I threw out the used paper lunch bag collection.  It took me weeks to do that, throwing out about 10 to 15 bags a day until it became noticeable.  I honestly cannot understand how some people can be so slovenly.  But I digress.

I used to wonder how I would ever get so much work done.  It seemed to come in endlessly.  My bosses were mean and one of them was a drunk.  So was my ex-husband.  Mean and drunk.  So I moved on.

My new job I had the same issue.  Endless work and tasks, projects.  How would I ever organize this?  I remarried and we raised a son.  During this time I was commuting 4 hours a day.  But I got it all done, and now he’s a fine young man.

Over time, pretty quickly actually, I became the manager In the office, and after 30 years the work was done.

So I retired.  But after writing a few books, I found new work and soon became a senior manager.  Everyone else does the work now.  My job is to make sure it gets done.

I have my life organized.

So now I’m sitting here wondering, what will I do?

I used to have a wealth of things to do, and no time.

Now I have time, and I space out my tasks to stave off boredom.  With the coronavirus, we cannot really go out and do anything.  It leaves plenty of time on the hands to think, unless one wants to dissolve into the tv, or the phone or laptop.

I’ve always been a doer, and a thinker.

I always had a goal.  That’s why.

Now I still have desires, but don’t see a way to make them reality.

So I’m treading water.  Waiting for time to pass.

What miracle will life bring to me next?

What’s keeping you busy?

Will I be the same person when this lockdown ends, or will I pick up a new skill, a new goal, or a new facet to my persona.

What to do with all this time?

Love is Blind

You go in expecting nothing.
When suddenly this man you’ve made friends with plants a big kiss on you.
He wants to be more than friends.

You didn’t see it coming.
You were oblivious to his attraction.
You decide you like the idea.

He’s smart you find out.
He’s everything you could want honest and kind.
He’s smoldering hot, but he’s smoldering scary.

He’s passionate and gentle.
He’s that way because you like it.
He wants you and you get in too deep.

One day you realize he’s not letting you in.
He doesn’t tell you about himself, his family or answer questions.
One day he really hurts your feelings.

Your heart breaks and you let him go.
You forget him because he’s not that into you.
Until you see him again.

He’s angry, passionately angry.
You realize you broke his heart.
You threw away what was real.

Love is blind.
He still looks for you, but you are gone.
If only you’d open your eyes.

The Angel

Many strange things have happened to me.

But I don’t remember ever being visited by an Angel.

Not even in my dreams.

But there she was!

Stunning!

Spectacular!

At least 9 feet tall, and made of clouds.

I heard her voice like singing in my ears and in my mind.

Everyone was speaking and no one heard her but me.

Where is the voice?!

Someone is speaking! Don’t you hear it!

My brothers were there but they did not hear.

I cut through them and saw her towering above them, majestic and beautiful.

I was in awe.  She held my hands.

I knew she was leaving.

I adore you.  She told me.

Must you leave? I implored.

I adore you she replied and her face began to melt into a cloud.

Enigmatic

The E words

Enigmatic
Empathy
Enigma

Different meanings, but all pertain to how we relate to others.

Are we a mystery to them, hidden in our secrets?

Do we care for them and make them feel better?

Do we attract them to ourselves like honey to flies?

What we are inside reflects how we are seen.

Who has more friends, the enigmatic, the empath or the enigma?

Which of them is a better friend?

Which one attracts you?

Do you value a personal relationship, or do you fall for shallow charms? Some enigmas might just need an empath to find a friend, for they are unreadable to others.

Which are you?

Cat