Killing Thoughts

As I roused myself from my self-imposed 35 year slumber, I found myself rooting through the remains of my prior life.

I remembered an attack from a violent thought, with a violent and angry temper.  I have spent years contemplating how a thought could do such damage to my psyche.

As an empath, I was particularly attuned to the angry man who released the thought in my direction.   I had no capacity to defend myself from it and was in fact sucker punched by something that I had never seen happen before. Completely devastated and unable to function, my higher consciousness stepped in for me, and decided to put me to sleep until I could heal.

I had learned to attune to peoples'  psyche.   To do this means to completely open up to them.

I needed to learn two important lessons:

one - do not project
two - when necessary, deflect

I am so good at sensing others' thoughts, feelings and emotions when I tune in, that I sometimes forget that I am not infallible. I sometimes project what I think upon them rather than continuing to try to sense what they are really feeling.

Maybe I sensed something, and then my mind summed up what it probably meant.   There may be something wrong, but I may have identified the wrong source of the problem. I must remember not to project.

I had made my very good friend very angry. I came to see him to apologize, and as always was 100% open and attuned to him.  The depth of his anger was something that I was not prepared for, and when I saw the wave of anger come after me, I was unschooled and unprepared for how to deal with it.   I simply braced and allowed it to attack.

I see I need to learn to not only control thoughts that I perceive as my own lest they torment me. But I need to learn to command dominion over all the thoughts that invade my mind-space. This is my kingdom or queendom, and all thoughts that enter here are under my command.

I was able to control my own thoughts to the point where I eliminated any thought of this person again, so that I could survive his perceived hatred of me.  That was where I had projected, but I was severely injured emotionally and was not able to reason properly.

I had failed to secure my own mental domain, left myself open to attack and then failed to perceive the true feelings of my angry friend.

Believing now in defenselessness, I struggled  with this conundrum. I was defenseless, and I was severely injured to the point of losing 35 years of higher consciousness until I could heal from this attack.  It was a matter I believe of domain.

People do not normally have such power over your mind, and that is because most of us have private thoughts and do not allow them to cross that barrier. When one opens oneself up to another or to the universe, one must remember that one is the king or queen of that domain.  Any thought that misbehaves or is found offensive must be dismissed immediately. Never give up that power.

Always remember too that when dealing with another person it may be possible to perceive his thoughts and emotions and still misunderstand them. That is because our perception is not flawless.    Perception is a flawed tool. In this reality we perceive through our senses which define reality to us. In the next higher level of consciousness, where we can perceive others' thoughts and or feelings, we may still not understand their true meaning. What we perceive as hatred and anger may be hurt and a cry for redress.

Unfortunately, the path to higher consciousness is fraught with its own pitfalls. The instruction manuals don't cover all of them.

The Collective or higher Mind sees me as it's child.  Sometimes you let your child make her own mistakes and learn from them.  Sometimes you step in because the danger is too great.  When your child is harmed, sometimes you have to make tough decisions.  Sometimes your child cannot understand but it's your decision and you must make it.  That was what they said.

I had stepped into the next realm and gotten hurt there.  Still, I want to return.  I am ready to wake up.  I now understand the nature of the perils of the next realm. It is all Mind, and a strong mind always maintains its center.