Owning Your Guilt

Fear, Guilt, Greed.

These are prime negative motivators, drivers of human (and animal) action.

Fear and Greed are better understood than guilt.

For one thing, fear and greed have opposites, which are easily identifiable and which help frame them better.

Their opposites are courage and generosity.

But Guilt almost seems good doesn't it! It seems to have redeeming qualities.

If you've done wrong, it is guilt which compels you make amends.

But, what if you've been misunderstood, or profiled?  In some circles, it's called judged, in others prejudice, and in psychology it's called projection.

It's when people have a preconceived idea and assume you are going to behave accordingly.

You sense that, and you feel guilty as though you've actually done something.

You own the guilt.

By owning it, you behave as though you have reason to be ashamed, reason to be sorry, reason to make amends, reason to act differently than a person who is not guilty.

This affects your life, your plans, actions, and reinforces the misconception that you are guilty.

You MAKE IT REAL by reacting to it.

Make it clear, when you are innocent by never acknowledging the false perception.

Make it clear that you expect to be treated with favor, as a friend, and leave guilt unacknowledged.

Do not own it if it is not yours.

If it is, then be quick to apologize. But never be guilty about someone else's mistake. Be generous, and don't acknowledge it. Be the bigger person. To err is human, to forgive is divine.

But if you do acknowledge it, in any way, you make it real. You give it standing in the world by confronting or conforming to it.

You make it part of your world.

It is easier to light a candle than curse the darkness. It is easier to continue being you, than it is to mirror someone else's false perception of you.

Light the way. That's who you are!